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An artist's rendering of USA Soccer Guy. Gavin Barker

10 reasons why USA Soccer Guy is the best football analyst around

He’s like Giles, Dunphy and Brady rolled into one.

IRELAND HOST USA at the Aviva Stadium tomorrow night and since the majority of the build-up has focused on some non-football related things, you might need some extra pre-match analysis to get you in the mood.

Look no further than USA Soccer Guy, the Twitter parody account who behaves like your stereotypical US soccer fan (or at least how a lot of people think they act).

USA Soccer Guy is a spiritual cousin to the Boston Goals guys from Soccer AM.

jpbhughes / YouTube

Here are ten reasons that USA Soccer Guys’s in-game analysis is a must-follow.

He condemns diving

His description of this goal

Tech-Flo / YouTube

His personal name for the Golden Boot award

His Jonathan Pearce-like reaction to the use of goal-line technology

frankvideochannel / YouTube

He makes a distinction between football and soccer

His naivety about fans’ ‘foam fingers’

He doesn’t bother with cliched terms like ‘teams’

The way he writes Iniesta

The great synonym for ‘the board’ ever thought of

He doesn’t get deterred by mistakes

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