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Dublin: 7 °C Wednesday 22 October, 2014

The Departures Lounge: your daily lunchtime transfer round-up

Find out which Liverpool defender is set to leave the club, what club is foolish enough to buy Tuncay and who has a tattoo of their mother’s face.

Xisco is set to leave Newcastle.
Xisco is set to leave Newcastle.

AT LAST, THE time for speculation is almost over, with the arrival of the new season.

Journalists no longer need to think up excuses to write about football, as they can now actually write about football.

So does this mean an end to the seemingly perpetual buzz of transfer gossip? Of course it doesn’t.

It wasn’t long ago that Daniel Ayala seemed set to become the next big thing. Alas, the 20-year-old is now on his way to Norwich.

Speaking of Spanish players who flatter to deceive at the best of times, Xisco (no relation to the similarly-named R&B singer) is precisely the type of player who seasoned Premier League fans would describe as a typical Newcastle signing i.e. a player who is bought for a lot of money and proceeds to have a bit of a nightmare during their time there (Titus Bramble is another good example).

Fans of the side will consequently be relieved to hear that the player is rejoining Deportivo LaCoruna on loan.

My new season’s resolution never to talk about Nasri and Fabregas begins hereafter, as the duo are left out of the squad to face Newcasle, thus confirming what everyone already knows: they’re leaving.

Finally, Lionel Messi has stunned people who care about these kind of things, after a photographer caught sight of a tattoo of his mother on his left shoulder. Amazingly, no tabloid paper has advised him to keep mum about it yet.

Ill-advised deal of the day: Despite the player essentially failing at Middlesbrough, Stoke and Wolfsburg, Bolton have strangely elected to sign Tuncay Sanli.

Advised deal of the day: While Robbie Keane has hardly set the Premier League alight in recent seasons, his consistently excellent displays for Ireland indicate that he is far from over the hill. Thus, he may well be just the player Leicester need to take the side out of the Championship.

Poll: who’ll win the Premier League title?

Premier League power rankings (Part IV): Can anyone knock United off their perch?

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