WORLD-RENOWNED PHYSICIST Stephen Hawking has worked out the magic formula needed for England to win the World Cup — and solved the “secret” behind the perfect penalty.
Hawking, 72, scrutinised data from the 11 World Cups since England last lifted the Jules Rimet trophy in 1966 and was able to work out the optimal conditions for success.
“As a theoretical physicist I’m marginally more qualified to make predictions than Paul the Octopus,” Professor Hawking said.
His findings include:
- England need to wear their red kit, which is statistically more successful
- They need to play a 4-3-3 formation
- They need a European referee: “They are more sympathetic to the English game and less sympathetic to ballerinas like Suarez”
- They have better results when they play closer to home, in temperate climates, at low altitudes, with kick-offs close to 3pm
(And for those of you who feel compelled to point out that this is “free publicity” for Paddy Power, yes we know. When you make a World Cup video with Stephen Hawking, we’ll give you some free publicity too.)
