Kettle on? Check. Last of the tin of Roses? Check? A lot more football? Check, check, check.

Manchester United welcome Steve Clarke’s West Brom to Old Trafford this afternoon in what is a busy afternoon.

Shane Long starts for the Baggies while Shinji Kagawa makes his comeback for the hosts. RVP drops to the bench in what is a death knell for my Fantasy Football team.

So let’s have those predictions and betting tips. Don’t be greedy.

We’ve already had one result of course, our own John O’Shea scored his first goal for Sunderland to give the Black Cats a half-time lead against Spurs. But AVB’s side battled back to record an impressive 2-1 win at the Stadium of Light. Here’s how it unfolded.

Some on Twitter have been speculating that RVP doesn’t start today at a rainy Old Trafford as Alex Ferguson is worried he’ll drown. Poor lad.

Gareth Bale will miss his next game for Spurs after he picked up his fifth booking of the season; they’ve all been awarded for diving. Do you think this booking was warranted? Here’s the video.

GOALS! Manchester City are gone two goals up within about four minutes at Carrow Road – and Edin Dzeko has scored both. Dear me.

Elsewhere, Ivan Ramis has headed Wigan ahead at Villa Park – is that 13 against Paul Lambert’s side without reply now?

GOAL! Reading 1 West Ham 0 Phew… I’m fanning my face like a large Victorian lady here. Mercy.

The goals are absolutely flying in and I haven’t had time to enjoy my tea. James Collins made a complete hash of a backpass and Pavel Pogrebnyak has put the Royals a goal to the good.

GOAL! Man Utd 1 West Brom 0, Gareth McAuley og 9′ Another one. Ashley Young got down his flank and hit the ball low and hard across the face of the Baggies’ goal where McAuley turned it in. Elsewhere Southampton have broken the deadlock at Stoke through that man Ricky Lambert.

Phil Thompson on Sky’s Soccer Saturday says that Stephen Ireland is a very lucky international exile. The Cobh man took out a Wigan player in the box for what was a ‘stone-wall penalty’ but the ref waved it away. Villa are still one down.

GOAL! Norwich 1 Manchester City 2 It’s on. Another Irish-qualified midfielder, Anthony Pilkington, has dragged the Canaries back into this fixture after a disastrous start against the champions.  Hibs have scored to go one up against Celtic meanwhile.

GOAL! Stoke 1 Southampton 1, Kenwyne Jones 16′ Paul Merson describes it as like Kanu’s flick for Arsenal against Boro some seasons ago. Chris McKenna on Twitter writes: ‘Southampton may be in the Brazil colours but Kenwyne Jones has just brought the flair. Beautiful flick from Shotton cross makes it 1-1′.

GOAL! Stoke 1 Southampton 2 Rodriguez 24′ It seems Fortress Britannia is shaking this afternoon. The Potters side who taught Liverpool a lesson earlier this week are getting a run-a-round from Southampton. Ricky Lambert did great work again before Rodriguez wellied the ball into the roof of the net to put the Saints ahead.

RVP is on the bench this afternoon, despite the fact he’s in our Fantasy teams, Fergie. Pic: Martin Rickett/PA Wire/Press Association Images

“Southampton have become the first side to score more than once against Stoke at the Britannia this season in the PL,” says @OptaJoe.

GOAL! Stoke 1 Southampton 3, Wilkinson og 35′ Tony Pulis won’t like this, Jeff. Ricky Lambert was again at the centre of the action for the Saints. He headed a cross down for the other goalscorer Rodriguez who was beaten to the ball by Wilkinson. But the home defender contrived to knock it past his own goalkeeper to put Southampton two goals to the good. How’s the decibel-level at the Britannia now?

RED CARD! Samir Nasri is sent off – his first dismissal in English football. The French playmaker went head-to-head with Bassong and he’s paid the price. That’ll be an interesting second half.

HALF-TIME It’s Jaffa Cake and Lucozade time around the grounds. And — as is often the case with the Christmas fixtures — there’s been some surprises. Stoke are leading and in control at Stoke, Man City are a man down but a goal up at Norwich, Villa are losing again and Man Utd have their noses in front at Old Trafford. What did you make of all that?

Check out that Kenwyne Jones flicked goal, during the half-time break.

We’re back up and running but there’s not a whole lot happening at Old Trafford. In the Championship, Mick McCarthy is enjoying his return to Wolves. First he was afforded a warm welcome by the home crowd and now his Ipswich side lead.

GOAL! Norwich 1 Man City 3, Kun Auero 50′ The 10-men of City regain that two-goal lead thanks to the Argentine striker. Elsewhere, Swansea have gone 2-0 ahead at Fulham through De Guzman after a bad goalkeeper’s clearance and Wigan have gone two ahead too at Villa Park.

GOAL! Fulham 1 Swansea 2, Bryan Ruiz 54′ The home side have a foothold in this game again. The ref had a good long chat with his assistant after the ball was dispatched to the net and he ultimately awarded it.

GOAL! Villa 0 Wigan 3, Kone – They’ve had enough at Villa Park. Boos ring out and home supporters stream towards the exits.

Under pressure: Aston Villa manager Paul Lambert during the Barclays Premier League match at Villa Park. Pic: Jon Buckle/PA Wire

GOAL! Norwich 2 Manchester City 4, Russell Martin 63, Edin Dzecko 65′ You wait 10 minutes for a goal and then two arrive at once. The Canaries got to within a goal of City again thanks to stand-in skipper Martin converting a Bassong header across goal. But moments later, Dzeko completes his hat-trick.

RED CARD! Stoke are within a goal of Southampton but they’re down to 10 men for the final phase of this game. Steven N’Zonzi is gone for a late tackle we’re told.

Also – scratch that Dzeko hat-trick call – it’s a Bunn own goal now.

Really good point from reader Kevin Doyle — not that one — in the comment section below. “Given has to start the next game for Villa. If he doesn’t, I reckon he should look for a new club,” he writes. The former Ireland netminder has watched his replacement concede 15, by my count, in the past three games now. And there’s still time on the clock at Villa Park.

GOAL! Norwich 3 Man City 4, Martin 75′ Chris Hughton’s side are not giving up the fight. Russell Martin has scored his second of the afternoon and a third for his side to make this a very nervy last few minutes for the champions.

What about Old Trafford then? Well RVP is on and has missed a chance. Scholes is on and will no doubt mis-time a tackle. West Brom are streaming forward so there might well be a goal or two here yet. Who knows at which end.

GOAL! Man Utd 2 West Brom 0, van Persie 90 Game over. Van Persie came off the bench and has scored with that left foot of his.  Inevitably.

GOAL! Stoke 3 Southampton 3, Cameron Jerome 90 Paul Merson is giggling like a school boy at the goal he’s just witnessed. Jerome battered a Crouch knock-down on the half-volley from 30 feet out. And it screamed into the net.

So that’s your lot. Jonathan Wilson may think goals are overrated but they kept us entertained for the afternoon. Arsenal and Newcastle is the late kick-off so join us for that in a little while. We’re off to set Match of the Day to record.