IRISH INTERNATIONAL RULES goalkeeper Paddy O’Rourke has urged people in this country to ‘look after each other’ in the wake of the tragic death of Galway hurler Niall Donoghue.
O’Rourke will be between the posts for Ireland tomorrow night against Australia in Croke Park.
The Meath net minder works as a welfare officer in Dundalk IT and is involved in the ‘PleaseTalk’ campaign, which aims to alert third-level students in Ireland to the support services available to them in colleges.
“It’s an awful sad case and it’s going to hit the hurling team in Galway, his neighbours, his friends, his family. The main message behind ‘Please Talk’ is talking is a sign of strength, so we want to try and get that out there as much as possible.”
“Everyone has to get out there and look after each other. If it just means sitting down having a cup of tea with someone, or talking to someone that you don’t usually talk to, it could make a big difference.
“Nobody should ever feel isolated; especially somebody so young being lost this way is just terribly sad. One life lost is one too many.”
O’Rourke believes GAA players can be particularly vulnerable.
“We’re all human at the end of the day. When we pack our bags after training, we go home to family, we go home to friends, we go home to college – we’re just the same as everybody else.
“There’s different things can mount up on top of you. If you’re in college and you’re coming up to exam times, the pressure can get to you. Whether you’re trying to juggle training, trying to juggle exams, different things can weigh you down.
“You should always feel that there’s somebody there, one of your friends, one of your family members, that you can pick up the phone, that you can say ‘Look it, I want to have a chat’.
Students
O’Rourke admitted from his own experiences in Dundalk IT that he has witnessed problems emerge but praised the counseling services that are available.
“We’ve seen some elements of it alright, so far, but we’d have our own counselling service in the college in Dundalk and thankfully they’re absolutely brilliant. They’re there 24/7 for the students. No matter what time, day or night, they pick up the phone.
“We can refer them on to our counsellors within the college, and it’s just basically being there for each other and being there as a link person. That’s my role, being a link person, for the students, and getting them to the right resources as quickly as possible.”
Helplines:
- Samaritans 1850 60 90 90
- GPA counselling 1800 201 346
- Pieta House Head Office 01 6010000
Fair play. Still a massive stigma in Ireland, especially in rural areas. It’s an issue that needs to be talked about, however tough that may be.
What needs to stop is the glorification of suicide and the Facebook tribute pages. Suicide is not tragic, it is a waste, a devastating act that leaves sorrow, guilt and unanswered questions in its wake. The focus should be on those left behind, not tributes to the ‘angels’ who are gone.
Shut up! Do you have any idea what someone must be going through to actually go through with taking their own life?
Shaun, your ignorant comment is exactly the problem in Ireland. Pure ignorance.
While maybe an issue with the younger people I don’t believe it’s an issue in the early 20s.
But is it just me or does anyone else have a problem about expressing remorse on FB? I think it’s too impersonal
I dont know much about facebook but to say suicide is not tragic is a bit much. I dont think shaun realises what dark places people who do take their own lives are in. The focus should be on helping vulnerable people.
Many people find themselves in very dark places, but all choose different routes out of it. The point I am trying to get to is that if people talked about the devastation left behind it may deter some from going through with such a final act. The focus seems to be on how great the person was, the tributes, the ‘likes’ etc. Maybe if someone at the edge of a cliff thought about the devastation they would leave it might be enough to get them to step back and live another day
I agree in the slightest with what I think Shaun is trying to say. When someone takes their own life they leave others in sadness and depression that could possibly lead to friends and family feeling as low as that person was. Suicide is a tragedy that needs to be avoided at all costs.
Thing is shaun, many think that their relatives would be better off without them.
Again, some people seem to be missing the issues regarding suicide and mental health. Suicide tribute pages do not cause suicide, the same way that knowing you are loved rarely prevents suicide. If a friend of a suicide victim commits suicide it is not for a facebook page or likes, it may however be because they were not offered adequate counselling and help coping.
Suicide is caused by mental illness, depression, despair and crippling mental anguish. What does prevent suicide is preventative action by those trained to deal wih mental health issues. More funds are needed in this area, when will our government wake up to this.
‘Choose different ways out of it.’ The majority of people who are suicidal are long beyond choice. We all know suicide is selfish. Thats the point, suicidal people often think people would be better off without them, and that they would be released from the torment and mental anguish they are going through. Choice has fu@kall to do with it in most cases.
Shaun, although I can see the point you are trying to make, by god do you have a terrible way of saying it!
However you have overlooked one key thing – you are presuming that someone that is suicidal is of rational thought. You have absolutely no right to judge a person who has taken their own life because no one but that person will know what they are dealing with in their own head. It’s completely tragic overall – End of.
Having had a young family member commit suicide just over a year ago- i would like to let people know that victims of suicide can feel worthless. They cannot be persuaded that they are loved, cherished and have no concept of the devastation they leave behind– telling or showing someone they are loved beyond compare doesnt always penetrate that black cloak of depression… And not everyone who commits suicide is sitting in a dark room crying all day.. Our family member had been at school, having the craic, playing soccer with his friends and making plans on a friday afternoon and took his life the very next afternoon… Its not always obvious that a person has mental health issues- we need to explore that please.. RIP all victims x
Imagine the state of mind of someone to think that their best option is to commit suicide? Hopelessness and a sense of a total lack of control over their life. Those tribute pages give people a united platform to grieve. Your comment is a bit off the mark.
“Shaun, your ignorant comment is exactly the problem in Ireland. Pure ignorance.”
Ah hang on here a second Peter, what you have just said there is complete ring. What Shaun has pointed out in his comment is actually the main point that all of the anti-suicide organisations are trying to impart. It is not tragic, it would be tragic for your death to be untimely, but only if you wanted to live. Suicide is glamorised in Ireland through tribute pages on facebook where people come to post comments saying “Sleep well Angel” and crap like that. The idea here is to undermine suicide, to remove any romantic connotations it may have for people and to highlight the selfish, devastating nature, and finality of it. So Peter, it is you and your comment that is exactly the problem in Ireland.
Paddy you completely miss the point. It is tragic that a person is so low in themselves, feels so worthless and thinks that their family would be better off without them and feel there is no other option. It is far from selfish, suicidal people arent thinking rationaly.
Read some of the comments above as they have articulated it better than I could. I dont use Facebook but if there is glorifying then surely its a matter for facebook and parents.
In my opinion facebook doesn’t glamorize it– after Thomas died- we found it very helpful to read the comments that were left and what I found most surprising was that most of his fellow male students saying on a public forum how much they had loved him and missed him.. When i was growing up-boys would never have said that to each other.. They also posted comments like “how did we not know” , “why didn’t you talk to me”, “i never realised you were sad”… It helped the youth express themselves more…
Of course it can be an issue for people in their early 20s! Males aged 18-25 are the age group most at risk from suicide.
Ann that is so true. People can hide all the anxiety they have inside and show an outward face to the world of been okay, when they are suffering.
We spend more on Road Safety Awarness than on mental Health Awareness yet alot more due to suicide.
We need to re prioritise mental health as it is a crisis and give it the adequate funding and attention it so badly needs.
Yes of course we need more funding for mental health teams. In the west where im from, some multidisciplinery teams havent even got psychologists or social workers which are vital. Instead its cut cut cut… rather than develop. And its come to this tragic outcome. Governmebt needs to wise up and put a halt to this epidemic, and fast.
RIP Niall Donoghue.
http://www.mycharity.ie/event/give_back_abroad/…
A charity set up by a galway man in OZ where you can donate directly to mental health reform in Ireland. Please support.
Eh, the RSA has a massive budget but it is a revenue generating agency. How could the government extract money from mental health patients ? If they could it would have a bigger budget.
You should consider the RSA’s budget as an investment because there is a return.
Well said Declan
I don’t think it’s a stigma – i think alot of men just don’t like talking about personal issues .
I think it’s both to be honest .
Women are more likely to discuss problems with each other ..
Mac not disagreeing with you and not making it a competition, just saying that yes men are less likely to discuss their problems but there is still stigma attached which prevent both sexes opening up about mental health issues.
Well people are always going to raise an eyebrow depending on the persons issue – so stigma will always be there.
There is certainly a lack of awareness, even in the medical profession. Friend of mine suffers from depression and went to three gp’s in Ireland. Two of them have her the whole cheer up it’ll be grand spiel and one referred her to a counsellor who was good but cost €150 an hour with no subsidy.
In Australia she went to local GP who straight away asked loads of questions, drew up a mental health plan and referred to a counselor with the first six sessions 70% covered by the government. Also went through all the pros/cons of medication.
I know Ireland isn’t exactly flush with cash to do the same but I think GPs should educate themselves more on the issue as there are constant advancements being made in the area of mental health.
@Aus Tereo. You are spot on in your comment.
All what the GP’s do here is prescribe drugs with no follow up with the patient to see how they are getting on.
Councellors here charge a fortune and people cant afford it so they dont go.
As you said GP’s need to be retrained in how to manage mental health issues with a clear direction on how they follow up and how councelling can be provided.
If anyone is in distress contact coisceim for counseling & you get to decide how much you pay. You may wait a couple of weeks to get started but after that once you find someone that suits you you can continue getting good help for a tiny fee. I done this 2 years ago while being suicidal & homeless & got a counselor that truly saved my life & put me on the right track. I have since emigrated & although I have some bad days I am managing quiet well thanks largely to this man & coisceim. Please don’t suffer alone get help even if money is an issue & fight for your life. I did & I’m still here for the better life I’m living & my kids.
You have to be in an awful place to contemplate suicide, as bad as things can get I hope Iam never in that situation. May he rest in peace.
Please talk the hurt and pain left behind is immense and it is never the right answer or solution. Men please talk as it’s a sign of strength n not weakness
Read about the young hurler who died recently, going by this read, he committed suicide and was not, in fact “sads”. I think suicides need to be named in media. Why the cover up, why the shame. Its a serious issue thats not being addressed.
I’m doing a charity walk in aid of mental illness tomorrow and in memory of my friend who took his own life http://www.mycharity.ie/event/david_fennellys_event
Great to see you have 24/7 which I believe IS the way forward.Galway have lost a glorious son as we lost a glorious professional wind surfer son at the same age.Rest in peace.
The so called “stigma” comes from Irish Society’s lack of understanding of mental illness. It’s like as if we are to treat it like any other illness that it will become contagious. I believe that Bressie should become the face of a government campaign to deal with this issue for young people. That on offer at present is too stuffy and not doing what it says on the tin.
You make a good point doo. Advocates say those suffering mental health issues need need not feel shame about seeking help just like they would with other ailments such as heart problems yet surely the media propagate the notion of shame surrounding suicide by stating things like the person died “tragically” instead of saying what it was. The implication is that mentioning the word suicide would some how be going to far and would bring shame and stigma on the family. Its this perceived shame we need to overcome if the stigma is to be shattered in society. We ask people to open up and not to feel shame and yet there is also an implicit encouragement to whisper speculate repress and feel shame about it . Its so contradictory.
To be fair, the reason the media don’t report suicides as suicides owes to a social phenomenon dubbed the Werther effect:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copycat_suicide
It’s a complicated issue, check out the Samaritan’s advice on best practice suicide reporting: http://www.samaritans.org/media-centre/media-guidelines-reporting-suicide/advice-journalists-suicide-reporting-dos-and-donts
http://www.mycharity.ie/event/david_fennellys_event
Well said, still too taboo for men to talk. As mentioned already if the gov took their head out of the sand and actually spent 1/2 of what they do on road deaths then we wouldnt be in this place.
Suicide isn’t recorded on death certs due to the implications for other family members, which is shocking, otherwise we would see the real numbers of recorded suicides would be many times more.
There are a huge amount of counselling services available that offer a sliding scale / donation based service. Counsellors do not charge a fortune, you go to your gp and pay €50 for a 5 or ten minute consultation and don’t bat an eye lid. Your mental health is just as important.
True Lisa, but you don’t go to your GP weekly. My counselling sessions were €70 per week, and on top of that I had €50 monthly for my GP to get my prescription.I went private because I went to my local community centre and was put on a waiting list for counselling there and heard nothing back. Ten months later I received a letter to meet with someone in the community centre, I later found out tgat because I have no medical card I wouldn’t have qualified anyway. Ten months is too long to wait, it obviously varies from county to county but resources are low. I don’t blame individuals just the funding etc. I’m sure there are great counselling services that do sliding scales but just ringing them is an ordeal and I went with the first available service. The servive was great but cost an arm and leg.
If you contact the IACP (Irish association for counselling and therapy) they’d be happy to point you in the direction of services in your area. Also there are always pre accredited Counsellors / therapists looking to build up hours towards their accreditation. These Counsellors are fully qualified, and generally only charge a nominal fee,maybe the rent for a therapy room to see you. It’s just the information around sourcing a therapist isn’t widely available, I’d imagine it’s down to the lack of regulation, hopefully that’ll all change when the Counselling profession becomes regulated.
Thanks Lisa. That’s exactly it, information isn’t widely available. I took the recommendation of my GP and went with it. Hopefully that will change and help others to find counsellors within their price range.
RIP. I thought he died of natural causes??