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Dublin: 12 °C Friday 24 May, 2013

Naming and shaming: the 18 worst nicknames in sport

Nicknames are invariably dreadful, highly unflattering ways of describing any given individual, particularly on the field of play.

COLM ‘GOOCH’ COOPER made headlines this weekend along with his Kerry attacking partner Kieran Donaghy aka ‘Star’.

In Páirc Uí Chaoimh this Sunday, Waterford, with Michael ‘Brick’ Walsh, face off with ‘Bonnar’ Maher’s Tipperary in the Munster SHC final.

Irish soccer boasts Keano, the Duffer and Zinedine Kilbane while the rugby fraternity are populated by the likes of ROG, BOD and Flash.

But they’re not the worst nicknames in sport…

Naming and shaming: the 18 worst nicknames in sport
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  • Ian Bell - The Sherminator

    England's Ian Bell was described by Shane Warne as 'The Sherminator' - a reference to the geeky character from the movie American Pie. The nickname would be funny were it not for the fact that Bell looks nothing like The Sherminator.
  • Alex Rodriguez - A Rod

    Some nicknames are just lazy abbreviations of athletes' regular names. Whoever came up with A Rod can't have been trying too hard.
  • Ronnie O'Sullivan - The Rocket

    Snooker is among the slowest sports out there. No matter how good O'Sullivan is, people have no business associating rockets with the game.
  • David Beckham - Golden Balls

    The less said about this one, the better.
  • Colin Montgomerie - Mrs Doubtfire

    Just because Montgomerie is fat and Scottish does not mean he should be compared to Mrs Doubtfire. It's not as if he's a cross-dresser. Unless the person who coined the nickname knows something the rest of us don't...
  • Karl Malone - The Mailman

    Why would you nickname any athlete 'The Mailman'? Because he always delivers. Sigh.
  • Muhammad Ali - The Louisville Lip

    Athletes who are either rubbish, or somehow worthy of mockery deserve nicknames, not sporting greats such as Ali.
  • Jason McAteer - Trigger

    McAteer was named after the less-than-intelligent character from Only Fools and Horses. Given that the Irish player once asked for a pizza to be cut into four pieces instead of eight because he wasn't feeling too hungry, the comparison seems like an insult to Trigger.
  • A.C. Green - The 40-year-old Virgin

    This nickname may be funny, but it is also inaccurate. Green vowed to abstain from sex until marriage, and he eventaully got hitched at the age of 38.
  • Eddie Edwards - The Eagle

    Eagles are generally competent and good at what they do. Eddie was not. Still, it was better than calling him Eddie Edwards I suppose.
  • Ole Gunnar Solskjaer - The Baby-Faced Assasin

    Solskjaer may have been baby-faced but he was no assasin. He was, in fact, easily one of the most overrated Premiership players ever.
  • Rod Smart (left) - He hate me

    So called because his opponents would apparently 'hate' him after he got through with them. Quite possibly the worst nickname ever.
  • Keith Wood - The Raging Potato

    Have you ever seen a raging potato? I haven't either. They don't exist, thus rendering Wood's nickname meaningless.
  • Eric Moussambani - The Eel

    Eric got his name due to his habit of constantly having his head above the water while swimming, which eels don't actually do from what I hear.
  • Norman Hunter - Bites Yer Legs

    How does one bite someone's legs exactly? Did Hunter ever literally do this to someone? Somehow I doubt it.
  • William Perry (centre) - The Refrigerator

    Why name an abnormally large athlete after a refrigerator? Surely a more apt and menacing-sounding description exists.
  • Jimmy Wilde - The Ghost with a Hammer in his Hands

    Good nicknames are meant to be catchy and have a ring to them. This one simply doesn't. It just comes across as an awkward way of saying that Wilde was rather effective with his fists.
  • Mark Waugh - Afghanistan

    The war in Afghanistan in 1979 was known as the 'Forgotten War'. Waugh was not as well-known or talked about as his brother. Get it?

Who have we forgotten?

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