First things first, here all of today’s line-ups…

Arsenal v Fulham

Arsenal: Mannone, Sagna, Koscielny, Mertesacker, Vermaelen, Coquelin, Arteta, Cazorla, Walcott, Podolski, Giroud
Subs: Szczesny, Andre Santos, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Ramsey, Arshavin, Jenkinson, Chamakh

Fulham: Schwarzer, Riether, Hughes, Hangeland, Riise, Ruiz, Baird, Sidwell, Richardson, Berbatov, Dejagah
Subs: Stockdale, Senderos, Petric, Karagounis, Duff, Rodallega, Kacaniklic

Referee: Phil Dowd (Staffordshire)
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Everton v Sunderland

Everton: Howard, Coleman, Jagielka, Heitinga, Baines, Mirallas, Osman, Neville, Pienaar, Fellaini, Jelavic
Subs: Mucha, Oviedo, Naismith, Distin, Hitzlsperger, Gueye, Vellios

Sunderland: Mignolet, Gardner, O’Shea, Cuellar, Rose, Johnson, Larsson, Colback, McClean, Fletcher, Sessegnon
Subs: Westwood, Wickham, McFadden, Kilgallon, Vaughan, Bramble, Saha

Referee: Lee Mason (Lancashire)
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Reading v Norwich

Reading: Federici, Gunter, Morrison, Gorkss, Shorey, McCleary, Leigertwood, Tabb, McAnuff, Roberts, Hunt
Subs: Stuart Taylor, Mariappa, Pogrebnyak, Le Fondre, Kebe, Robson-Kanu, Cummings

Norwich: Ruddy, Whittaker, Turner, Bassong, Garrido, Snodgrass, Tettey, Johnson, Pilkington, Hoolahan, Holt
Subs: Bunn, Howson, Jackson, Morison, Elliott Bennett, Tierney, Ryan Bennett

Referee: Chris Foy (Merseyside)
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Southampton v Swansea

Southampton: Gazzaniga, Clyne, Yoshida, Fonte, Shaw, Puncheon, Cork, Schneiderlin, Lallana, Lambert, Ramirez
Subs: Kelvin Davis, Hooiveld, Steven Davis, Rodriguez, Fox, Ward-Prowse, Mayuka

Swansea: Tremmel, Rangel, Williams, Monk, Davies, Ki, Britton, de Guzman, Hernandez, Michu, Routledge
Subs: Cornell, Tate, Dyer, Shechter, Moore, Tiendalli, Agustien

Referee: Andre Marriner
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Stoke v QPR

Stoke: Begovic, Wilkinson, Huth, Shawcross, Cameron, Nzonzi, Walters, Whelan, Adam, Etherington, Crouch
Subs: Sorensen, Palacios, Jones, Whitehead, Upson, Kightly, Jerome

QPR: Julio Cesar, Bosingwa, Ferdinand, Nelsen, Traore, Diakite, Faurlin, Granero, Hoilett, Taarabt, Cisse
Subs: Green, Derry, Hill, Wright-Phillips, Mackie, Onuoha, Zamora

Referee: Martin Atkinson
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Wigan v West Brom

Wigan: Al Habsi, Ramis, Caldwell, Figueroa, Boyce, McCarthy, Watson, Beausejour, Kone, Di Santo, Maloney
Subs: Pollitt, Jones, Gomez, McManaman, Boselli, Fyvie, Stam

West Brom: Myhill, Jones, McAuley, Olsson, Ridgewell, Mulumbu, Yacob, Lukaku, Morrison, Brunt, Long
Subs: Luke Daniels, Popov, Rosenberg, Dorrans, Gera, Odemwingie, Tamas

Referee: Neil Swarbrick (Lancashire)

Drumroll please…. And….. THEY’RE OFF!

A challenge by John O’Shea on Nikica Jelavic almost brings a penalty for Everton against Sunderland. The ref ignores.

After that, Sessegnon gets the better of Seamus Coleman, is one-on-one with Tim Howard, but fluffs the chance.

Here’s a conversation starter if ever we saw one…

Charlie Adam shoots six inches wide for Stoke against QPR, while Steven Fletcher is played in by Sessegnon and the Scot drags his effort wide.

1-0 to Arsenal!

A corner to the Gunners and, with Brede Hangeland occupied by Per Mertesacker, Olivier Giroud ghosts in at the near post and heads past Mark Schwarzer.

Southampton go close – a knockdown from Rickie Lambert to Adam Lallana and the midfielder’s shot draws a fine save from Michel Vorm.

Gaston Ramirez curls a shot wide for the Saints…

Injury news from Ireland’s Sean St. Ledger…

Sunderland are now the only team in the Premier League not to have scored a headed goal this season, following Giroud’s effort.

2-0 to Arsenal!

Mikel Arteta finds loads of room in the Fulham box, gets to the by-line and crosses for Lukas Podolski to stab the ball in from close range.

Fulham were actually down to ten men for that goal. Kieran Richardson had gone off the pitch with a hamstring injury, and the Cottagers did not have a substitute ready. Podolski scored before Alex Kacaniklic could get on the pitch.

Fulham have scored!

It’s another header from a corner, but this time Dimitar Berbatov is completely unmarked five yards out and he heads past Vito Mannone. Poor defending from Arsenal.

1-0 to West Brom!

Chris Brunt puts in one of the balls of the season and Ali Al Habsi is powerless to stop James Morrison from putting the Baggies into the lead.

Everton are completely dominating Sunderland at Goodison Park. Jelavic has a good chance on the volley from a Leighton Baines cross, but makes a complete arse of it and falls over.

We’re seeing that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez* have split up. As a result, we no longer believe in anything meaningful.

*Who’s Selena Gomez?

Fulham have equalised!

A couple of weeks ago I included Vito Mannone as an honorary mention in my players of the season so far. You were right to mock – the Italian has made a complete bags of getting to a header by Kacaniklic, set up by Berbatov.

2-1 to West Brom!

First of all, the Baggies go 2-0 up through a Gary Caldwell own goal, but Wigan reduce the arrears straight away when Jean Beausejour crosses for Aroune Kone to score.

1-0 to Sunderland!

A hugely important goal for the Mackems, and for Adam Johnson, who volleys past Howard to give the visitors the lead. Johnson is now Sunderland’s joint-second top scorer, along with Newcastle’s Demba Ba.

Half-time in all the games, time for tea here…

And we’re back. Half time breaks are not what they used to be… The magnificently named Conrad Balatoni has scored for Partick against Dunfermline, but all is quiet in the Premier League so far.

Theo Walcott crosses for Giroud but it’s too high.

There were only four shots on target in the first half of the Arsenal v Fulham match. They were all scored.

Chris Kamara looks surprisingly depressed, as he tells Jeff Stelling that there was one shot on target in the match between Reading and Norwich in the first half.

Meanwhile, Charlie Adam is played in by Peter Crouch and scores on the half-volley to break the deadlock against QPR. That’s the former Liverpool man’s first goal for the Potters.

Aaron Ramsey comes on for Arsenal, replacing Francis Coquelin.

Wayne Routledge is played in by Pablo Hernandez but shoots high over the Southampton bar. Dreadful miss. Poor match.

Adel Taarabt looks dejected as he narrowly fails to set Alejandro Faurlin up for QPR.

Santi Cazorla and Mikel Arteta stand over an Arsenal free-kick from around 30 yards out. Cazorla steps up to take it, but shoots over.

Lallana tries to win a penalty from a ‘foul’ by Ashley Williams, but the ref books him for simulation. Or diving, in plainspeak.

1-0 to Southampton!

Morgan Schneiderlin has put the Saints 1-0 up against Swansea with a well taken header (there seem to be a lot of them around in the Premier League today).

3-2 to Fulham!

Ruiz picks the pocket of Arteta and the Arsenal midfielder wrestles him to the ground. Clear penalty. Berbatov scores. So easy.

Giroud scores!

Fulham must have had the lead for about two minutes. Giroud strikes against the post and the ball rebounds to Walcott, whose cross is headed home by the Frenchman.

Reading hit the woodwork – a cross from Jimmy Kebe is always going over but it hits the crossbar.

Dreadful game.

Swansea have equalised!

Shocking defending from Southampton as Yoshida and goalkeeper Gazzaniga allow Nathan Dyer in, and the winger slots it home.

Everton have equalised!

Sunderland have marshalled Everton’s most dangerous player well all day, but finally they back off and Marouane Fellaini is able to find the corner of Simon Mignolet’s goal.

2-1 to Everton!

It’s been a pretty nifty couple of minutes for the Toffees, as Sunderland go far too deep. Fellaini finds Jelavic and the Croatian finds the corner.

What do you think, Sunderland fans?

There… is… nothing… happening at the Madejski Stadium.

Great news for League of Ireland fans…

LAST MINUTE PENALTY FOR ARSENAL!

….

AND IT’S BEEN SAVED!

It was given for a handball by Riether from an Arshavin cross, and Arteta sees it saved by Schwarzer.

And now it’s all over…

It should never have been a penalty in the first place, so justice was d0ne. A bad day for Arteta, after he gave away a spot kick earlier in the game.

Everton have beaten Sunderland, Reading and Norwich has finished scoreless, Southampton and Swansea have draw, West Brom have their first away win of the season against Wigan, and Stoke have beaten QPR (curtains for Mark Hughes?).

That’s your lot for the moment, I’ll be back shortly for Aston Villa and Manchester United, thanks for keeping up…