REJOICE! JANUARY IS as good as over, you’ve finally been paid and the Six Nations is upon us.
You know what that means: after the long lean winter month it’s time to head for the pub.
But as you haven’t darkened the door of your favourite establishment since the early hours of January 1, the over-excitement could result in a free-for-all when you and like-minded folk flock to watch the oldest rugby championship as a tight-knit unit.
To ensure we all come out the other side unscathed, still friends and ready to go again a week later, here are 11 simple rules to enforce down the local.
1. Get there in good time
2. But, once there, pace yourself
We know you’re awful thirsty, but there could be up to three games to get through. Swirl that pint of European lager, savour it. It’s a Marathon, the sprint comes later.
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3. Don’t drink at the bar when it’s really busy. MOVE!
Yep, it’d be a real shame if you were to, say, take a tumble as some sort of karmic punishment… a real shame.
4. Tall guys, don’t stand in front of the TV
Down in front, Johann.
5. Get your own food
6. You don’t need to be quiet for kicks at goal
You’re not in the stadium, the goal-kicker can not hear you. Try holding your whisht during TMO decisions instead.
7. You must wave a €20 note at bar staff, otherwise they’ll probably think you’ve joined the sweaty crush for the craic
8. If you do get a seat, don’t be smug about it
Be gracious, B.
9. During the game you must call each player by their first name or nickname
No, ‘G’Wan Sexton’ won’t do. It has to be G’Wan Jonny, Jonno, Sexto, J-Sex… whatever floats your boat.
10. If you’re carrying more than two drinks through the crowd, you have to make a MASSIVE deal out of it
Carry them above your head, shimmy with the agility of a belly dancer – Basically be a sort of snake charmer of pints in order to get them safely to the other side of the room.
11. Celebrate like your life depends on it
YouTube Credit: Daz