IF YOU’VE EVER been to a race meeting, or even just watched one on TV, you’ll know there are certain things that everybody says — and let’s be honest, they make you sound vaguely educated about the whole thing.
Here are seven things you’re practically guaranteed to hear when Cheltenham rolls around each year:
1. “He hated the ground”
Translation: How would you feel if someone sent you out into a bog and asked you to run three miles? Some horses love ground so soft that it swallows you up; some love bone-dry ground that is essentially tarmac. If you want to back a winner, know what type of horse you’re dealing with.
2. “He was all hands and heels”
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Translation: The horse was winning so easily the jockey didn’t even need to get the whip out. If you’ve had a bet on a horse, this nearly never happens.
3. ”He’s got a lot of horse between his legs”
Translation: Laced with delicious innuendo, this always a good one to use when describing a strong, powerful horse. Refer to it as “a machine” for bonus points.
4. “He got him on the nod”
Translation: When two horses are involved in a tight photo finish, one of them always gets the other “on the nod”. There’s no other way to win a close race.
5. “He was crying out for a longer trip”
Translation: Have you ever seen a horse cry? Have you ever seen anyone cry because they didn’t run for long enough? This one is used to describe the runners with bundles of stamina.
6. “He pushed the button on him”
Translation: First things first, there is no button on a horse — trust us, we’ve checked. But horse racing is all about tactics so jockeys need to pick the perfect moment to strike and then… yup, push the button.
7. “He’s off the bridle”
Translation: People LOVE saying this to sound smart. “The bridle” is the headpiece and reins that horses wear. If a horse is off the bridle, it means he’s being worked particularly hard; if a horse wins on the bridle, it was nice and easy.
(All pictures by INPHO & Press Association / PA Images)
Best Ted Walsh one i heard him say about a horse that one a race on his first outing since being gelded. “Ya he had the town halls cut off a few weeks back and its made all the difference” classic Ted
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Ted Walsh said one time, ” he’s a great horse, I rode his mother one time”.. Classic Ted..!
A great day for the connections!!
Typical Ted alright a bit of a s..te is what he is.
Just lol’d in the dr’s clinic at that! Thanks, Graham. :-)
Welcome..
Actually her mother “Anaglogs Daughter” – “I rode her mother”
My personal favourite is “He stays longer than the mother in law”, a classic.
Look at the size of the bollocks on the horse.
Referring to the jockey of course.
I couldn’t pick my nose never mind a winner or if I backed a duck he’d drowned .
“I could eat a horse” is my favourite!!
Between burgers and lasagna, you most likely have.
I really don’t like neigh sayers who red thumb comments
The funny moment when a huge overweight drunk lad in the pub drunkly denounces some champion jockey as an idiot and rips up his (losing) docket.
He flew over the last like shite off a shovel.
Best Ted Walsh one i heard him say about a horse that one a race on his first outing since being gelded. “Ya he had the town halls cut off a few weeks back and its made all the difference” classic Ted
Think Ted also said of Barry Geraghty once as he ran well clear to win ” he looks back between his legs,and he likes what he sees” !!!!!
He went through there like a hot shite after a bad curry
And at the finish .. It’s “pinncchio” by a nose ;-)
Godd article though. Lolz++!
*good. Proofreading brain awol today.
Foundations in the 2.40 on Thursday.
You can put your house on it.
‘That’s mine right at the back, looking like something out of a Disney film.’ Cliché too often heard at our house!
“My own daughter Katie is getting a nice ride in the middle of the pack” – Ted Walsh commentating on Leopardstown at Christmas
That horse was so slow id have had a better chance if I backed me clothes horse ha
Last I was on a horse and it was “off the bridle”, the bloody thing bolted, I had to throw myself off and walk three miles back to the livery stables!
Every winner you get ‘great ride’ and for every loser ‘ jockey never rode him’