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Doug Peters/Doug Peters/EMPICS Entertainment

Finally! The FIFA movie 'United Passions' debuts at Cannes

Tim Roth plays Sepp Blatter, Sam Neill is Joao Havelange with Gerard Depardieu as Jules Rimet.

LET’S BE HONEST. We’ve always wondered who’d play the key roles should Hollywood ever turn FIFA’s story into a Hollywood movie.

We’ve finally got our answer and it’s the best/worst thing we’ve seen in a while.

United Passions, which received its premiere at the Cannes Film Festival, focuses on the foundation of football’s governing body and charts its development through the decades.

It’s billed as a story about “a group of passionate European mavericks” joining forces on an ambitious project. Ahem…

United Passions / YouTube

Gerard Depardieu plays Jules Rimet, Sam Neill takes on the role of Joao Havelange while Tim Roth is Sepp Blatter.

Going by the trailer, history has been slightly re-written. Unsurprisingly, Blatter is portrayed as the guy FIFA turned to in an hour of need, a man “apparently good at finding money” who made the Adidas Tango ball a star, or something.

But why no mention of all those kickbacks Havelange took from ISL?

Costing a reported £19m to make, it’s alleged that FIFA put £16m towards it and that Blatter was very involved in the production.

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7 Comments
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    Mute Jerry Mandering
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    May 22nd 2014, 2:08 PM

    Wow, it’s so vain, just like Mr Burns and his entry for the Springfield film festival.
    Boo-urns!

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    Mute Dave O'Hanlon
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    May 22nd 2014, 2:20 PM

    Is this a movie or a political broadcast?. Tim Roth as Sepp Blatter!, did he get to pick who played him. Id have gone for Danny de Vito, looks more like him and would be good and playing a corrupt weasel.

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    Mute Rob O Reilly
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    May 22nd 2014, 1:11 PM

    Looks shockingly bad !

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    Mute Goldberg
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    May 22nd 2014, 7:20 PM

    Coming soon – FAI the movie

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    Mute Thomas O' Donnell
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    May 23rd 2014, 1:02 AM

    Which also, by pure coincidence, happens to be the next Muppets movie!

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    Mute Donal O'Brien
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    May 22nd 2014, 8:27 PM

    And I suppose Morgan freeman will be playing jack warner, and Omar sharif as the Qatari dude handing out the bribes.

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    Mute Pat Cassano
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    May 23rd 2014, 12:18 AM

    Is that Johnny 5′s best buddy at 36 seconds!?

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