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Dublin: 11 °C Thursday 21 August, 2014

Departures Lounge: Jim Carrey can’t believe Man United are back in for Fabregas

Either can Cesc, by the looks of things.

Will it happen?

Move over, Tom Huddlestone! Etienne Capoue is the new man in the Spurs engine room. Toulouse’s internationally capped defensive midfielder is believed to have cost Daniel Levy £9.4 million of his hard-earned cash.

Sorry, Gooners: Arsenal were also hoping to strengthen their midfield, but their preferred option Luis Gustavo has opted to stay in Germany after Bayern Munich accepted a reported £17 million offer from Wolfsburg.

Ouch.

Will it happen?

Scattergun: While Brendan Rodgers says ‘move along, nothing to see here’ about the Suarez saga, Arsenal will reportedly add £8,999,999 (that’s €49 million in total, lads down the back) to their last offer to try and end this thing sharpish.

Failing that, the Daily Mail say they’ll blow much of that wad on Edin Dzeko instead.

Fell’ through: It turns out that the reason Manchester United haven’t signed Marouane Fellaini yet is because the big Belgian’s hand buy-out clause has expired. Roberto Martinez kindly informed the world of this this morning ( why now, why not on July 31, Roberto?).

Of course, the Spaniard is nothing if not a shameless salesman and Moyes may yet prove to really want Fellaini in his new look Manchester United midfield, but this pushes the matter right up to the September deadline.

Will it happen?

Desperate times…: So, if United can’t get their claws into big Marouane, guess who’s next on the list. Yep, wee Cesc Fabregas. The Telegraph say this saga is back on despite the Catalan publicly shunning United’s advances.

Pity, City: Manuel Pellegrini has apparently given up on bringing (not yet verified) madman, Pepe, to England. Ah, well. That would have been endless fun.

Instead, Pelligrini’s spotlight has moved across town to Atlético Madrid to wave some cash in front of Martin Demichelis, who only moved to  the Rojiblancos from Malaga earlier this summer.

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