“It’s like Harry Potter — but it’s about soccer. There’s no Harry Potter flying on his f****** stick — just soccer.”
– Borussia Dortmund manager Jurgen Klopp describes his wife Ulla’s new book.
“We’re considering taking the team home, to be honest, because this guy is an absolute disgrace.”
– Dundalk manager Stephen Kenny was livid at two controversial red cards shown by Anthony Buttimer in the FAI Cup semi-final
INPHO/Dan Sheridan
“One thing is for sure, a World Cup without me is nothing to watch.”
– Zlatan Ibrahimovic responds modestly after Sweden’s defeat to Portugal in the World Cup play-offs
“Newspapers can report anything. Bloody hell, newspaper reporters have been writing lies since the year dot.”
– Paddy Crerand, about an hour before Manchester United announced Alex Ferguson’s retirement
“Don’t touch anything — just feed the monkey.”
– The punchline to an old NASA joke, which sparked a racism row when it was used by Roy Hodgson in an England team-talk
“I might look back in years to come and say ‘I did okay for a Tallaght lad.’”
– Robbie Keane, who equalled and then passed Shay Given’s Ireland appearance record earlier this year
“What do you think they’re smoking over there at Emirates?”
– Liverpool owner John Henry responds to an Arsenal bid of £40,000,001 for striker Luis Suarez
Gary Neville on marking Robin van Persie: “He’s like a burglar, you don’t know where he is.”Jamie Carragher: “You’d be under the bed.”
Neville: “You’d be the burglar.”
“He drives two Ferraris. You get paid a lot of money these days. I’m entitled to say what I think.”
– Eamon Dunphy doesn’t hold back with his criticism of Glenn Whelan
YouTube Credit: DannyBoySmith1993
“If I was John Delaney, I say Giovanni continue because Giovanni make great job.”
– Giovanni Trapattoni, two days before he was sacked as Ireland manager
“I’ll knock you fucking out you c**t.”
– Blackpool manager Paul Ince was banned for five matches for his choice words towards fourth official Mark Pottage
“I decided to flick it over her head and the rest was just instinct.”
– Peamount United’s Stephanie Roche on her wondergoal that made global headlines
“At least my Saints in Ireland won the championship.”
– Wire actor Wendell Pierce (Bunk Moreland to you and me) congratulates St Pat’s on their Airtricity League title
“Yohan Kebab.”
– The pick of Joe Kinnear’s quotes since his appointment as Newcastle Director of Football (picking one was the hardest part of this article)
“When we got the free-kick, Danny North came to me and said ‘we have to do the loopy-loop.’”
– Joey Ndo explains the controversial free-kick that helped Sligo Rovers win the FAI Cup
“You don’t know Martin as well as you think you do, he makes me look like Mother Teresa.’
– Ireland assistant manager Roy Keane doesn’t agree that Martin O’Neill is the good cop in their double-act.
“This conversation is incorrect.”
– Ireland caretaker boss Noel King serves up the quote of the year in a post-match interview with RTÉ
YouTube Credit: IrishSoccerTeamNews
This is the umpteenth St Stephens Day hangover I’ve had