REPORTS IN FRANCE have linked Leinster and Ireland out-half Jonny Sexton with a big money move to French Top 14 side Racing Metro in the last few days.
If you’re reading this Jonny, and if you’re seriously considering a move, here are a few things you should know.
1. “French toast” is just toast over there.
(See also: soup, French onion)
2. Sticking with food… if you’re in McDonald’s, don’t bother asking for a quarter-pounder with cheese.
They won’t know what you mean. Damn metric system.
YouTube Credit: movieclips
3. Probably best not to mention this…
And if anybody asks about “Monsieur Delaney” and the 33rd team idea, just shrug your shoulders (you’ll need to get good at that).
(Both pics ©INPHO/Donall Farmer)
4. If someone hands you a soft drink, presume it has been spiked.
Good men have been caught out in the past.
(Alessandro Trovati/AP/Press Association Images)
5. Get used to striking.
The French love an aul’ strike.
(Jacques Brinon/AP/Press Association Images)
6. If you bump into this man, do not take his advice on adjusting to a foreign culture.
YouTube Credit: Beanyman62Sports
And if you see him in an argument with this guy, here’s a handy reminder of how to approach the situation.
(Originals by AP/Press Association Images)
7. Be careful which relatives you invite to watch you play.
Ask Harinordoquy — it can end in tears.
YouTube Credit: gradarich