1. Get Ciaran Clark and Paul Green to team up and do a number on him
The pair just need to follow Carlos Marchena and Marcos Senna’s example.
Credit: Martin Meissner/AP/Press Association Images
2. You could put Gerard Pique sitting in the front row of the Friends Arena. That would almost certainly distract him…
They were close friends at Barca.
Credit: Flickr
3. Childish insults about the size of his nose could work
Although it will probably make him want to score even more.
Credit: Tumblr
4. Cut off his long beautiful locks
Maybe, much like Samson, that’s where his power lies.
Credit: Darko Bandic/AP/Press Association Images
The season he decided to shave it off (2005-06), he managed just seven Serie A goals for Juve so there’s something in it.
Credit: ADRIANA SAPONE/AP/Press Association Image
5. When the ball’s out of play, whisper in his ear that he never fit in at Barcelona
He may pretend it didn’t bother him, but we know he’s still hurting.
Credit: Bernat Armangue/AP/Press Association Images
6. Use “baseball bats and dogs”
Former PSG and Bolton Wanderers defender Bernard Mendy had that advice before a Ligue 1 game back in December. Unfortunately, he decided against brute force and his side Brest were beaten 3-0.
To add insult to injury, Mendy scored an own goal against his former club.
7. Allegedly, if you played this song to Zlatan, he would spontaneously combust
Think of it as his Kryptonite.
YouTube credit: hebenmusic
8. Make a fool out of him
He won’t like that one bit. We’re thinking James McClean might have it in his locker.
Credit: Tumblr
9. Have Mark Kennedy and Phil Babb hop all over his outrageously pink Lamborghini, which he got custom-made to match his boots
It's his pride and joy.
Credit: topdrawersoccer.com
We're picturing something like this:
Credit: Gifsoup
10. If all else fails, there's always voodoo...
Credit: Antonio Calanni/AP/Press Association Images and Steve O’Rourke
Media are obsessed with “Zlat” all week, they have no research done on the other Swedes, who are fairly handy too.
Its so bad. No one has any clue about the rest of the Sweden team!
Whisper in his ear. Mick Wallace wants a ride, in your pink Ferrari.
I can think of a better way to stop him…. Throw Paul Green from the team bus when it is moving at a good speed on the motorway , then start a proper midfielder in his place, someone who can actually play football!!!
11. Make sure he does not make it to the stadium in the first place?
First 5 mins clatter a la Keane v Overmars….
A proper clatter
we’d just need to smuggle Keano onto the pitch to do the job ….
Just after kick off Trap, in disguise, should sneak over to the Swedish technical area and make a quick substitution on their behalf
Who cares? We won’t win anyway…
Women stay in the kitchen, this is men’s talk :)
My bad I got carried away……do you want corne beef on your sambo?
It’s very simple lads, all we have to is get Paul Mc Shane to do man to man marking job on him, sorted!!!!!
living in sweden MUST facebook this..unsettle em like.
Ireland 2 Sweden 0
It’s gonna be tough, very very tough. But, if we pull together as a team we can do it.
Sweden are more than a one man team too, and all the focus on Zlatan instead of the team…
We are a tiny nation of fighters, the Irish team have been punching well about their weight cause of the fighters attitude… Hopefully it will continue against Sweden…
All failing, park the team bus in front of the goal and don’t let zlatan take any 35 yard bicycle kicks lol
On a major plus side, the game would be unplayable in the weather at home.. so hope Sweden is less stormy tonight
Wow. How insightful, think you left one or two footballing cliches out there. In footballing terms we have to decide if our centre backs follow him when he drops deeper or if our midfielders will do a job (hence why trap has picked green over McCarthy who is a far more effective player in an advanced role). In saying that he is going to get on the ball anyway and we’ll realistically just have to hope he has a bit of an off day and we get a bit lucky.
Yawn…..
Just find a way….. Easy way, hard way… Either way
He’s just a man with 2 arms, 2 legs & a gigantic nose
And a tiny Penis
Paul green gona run amok .. Dominating performance . Like Brady in his hay day
Sweden are a handy side, any team who can claw back 4 against Germany need to be respected!
Why is everyone so obsessed with Ibrahimovic? He has been a donkey in as many games as he has been good in. Only for the overhead kick goal he scored against England people wouldn’t be half as worried about him. I hope Ireland are not as focused on him as the media are as they can keep him quiet all they want but there are others who can score. Sweden are not a one man team.
Every one knows there not a one man team but ibrahimavich is world class. His control of the ball is unbelievable .he is extremely strong . Legs to match that nose of his. Lets just pray he has one them off nights and Ireland put in a performance for once..
Lets all sing ourselves into a losing frenzy once more
Ask Paul Green to kick 6″5 of Ibra but he’d probably miss
irish team should all call in sick so match is called off then we cant lose
A gun tower at the 4 corners of the stadium is the only way you’ll stop this guy.
Bring back the squad from the 1990 world cup. They would have a better chance of winning. time for trap to go. didnt score 1 goal at euros and he keeps his job. What a joke. he is auld chancer.
Séan St. Ledger scored against Croatia, for the record.
Still a dismal showing in the tournament though.
BREAK HIS FOOKIN LEGS… nah just kidding.
This man will give the Irish defence a nightmare.
Sweden 3, Ireland 1.
Was looking at the prices this morning online… 8/15 Sweden looks a gift but as the saying goes you never see a poor bookie. Maybe they know something we dont
We could drop the linesman a brown envelope !!! ;) ;)
Stick a wig on Connor Sammon and through him out in his Zlatan’s place