1. Give him your shorts and socks there… We haven’t enough to go around.
2. The full-back was out on the gargle last night. Go at him every chance you get.
3. Macker is at a wedding today so you’ll have to do a job on the wing.
4. We all know what this ref is like… keep your mouth shut.
5. Your man was a bit of baller – he had trials with [insert half decent English club here]. He’s stuffed now, though.
6. Man on/House!
7. Don’t be afraid to leave the boot in. This ref will let it go all day.
8. Get up his arse.
9. You’ve got cramp? Well we’ve no one on the bench so just get on with it.
10. Lads, make sure to take down the nets… I’ve a pain in my hole doing it.
What funny things have you heard said down at your local pitch?
